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1.
Here she comes - look at her roll There she goes – up high then low Watch her fly - look at her wail let her by, or, die - it's Rollergirl Gail. Let her go – and you’ll get creamed She does blow – and her heart screams Yer goin’ down – she’s out on bail Take you down, down, down - Rollergirl Gail. She’ll whack yer ear – and bust yer spine Yer drinkin’ beer – through a straw next time She’ll knock yer ass – clear over the rail She’ll bust yer ass and fast – Rollergirl Gail. If you get the nerve – to go her way Get what you deserve – on judgment day Watch her fly - look at her wail let her by, or, die - it's Rollergirl Gail.
2.
Woke up this mornin’ Baby’s cryin’ My head is hurtin’ I ain’t got but 10 bucks to my name! And it’s always the same So I walk out In the rain To the store Knowin’ just what I’m lookin’ for! I’m gonna buy some cocaine I pay the man My last dollar For a rock of crack Now I can’t buy the Similac! I’ll have to steal it again Chorus Because my straight shooter’s empty And Junior’s diaper’s full I hope some day he’ll understand Why his daddy Was a diaper stealin’ man… Walked in the store To get a fix For my kid Then I put that shit up under my coat! And then I make like a ghost I find a place In the dark To ease my pain Soon I’ll smoke all this here cocaine! Then I’ll have a sick brain So I call my man My favorite drug dealer Gotta get some more crack! Maybe he’ll trade for this Similac? Or I’ll be on my knees again! (Chorus)
3.
When you come to a town in Ohio There’s a crosswalk by the mill The worker’s get out at 5 O’clock And the cars come down the hill The cars come down that hill Now that crosswalk has lights and signs It even has lines on the ground But cars won’t stop in Ohio No, they’ll run your sorry ass down They’ll run your sorry ass down (Chorus) At the Mill Street Crosswalk They’ll run you down They’ll run you down At the Mill Street Crosswalk They’ll run your sorry ass down They’ll run your sorry ass down Take a good look to the left And take a better look to the right Watch yourself son, be ready to run Or you’ll never make it through the night You’ll never make it through the night Beware if one stops for you And even if they wave you through Another car will come in the other way And in the street you will lay Dead in the street you will lay (Chorus) Down into the ground
4.
Well….when I was just a baby about the age of three Mom said don’t be naughty keep yer hands off yer pee pee But I just couldn’t understand how somethin’ bad could feel so good Figured if I couldn’t touch it I’d find someone else that would Then I was just a little boy about the age of five My teenage babysitter taught me how to muffdive She showed me how my little friend could make her feel so good Said that if she had her own she’d touch it every chance she could But we got caught and she got fired and she had to move away Mom said I was naughty and there’d be hell to pay She said that girl was evil and had put me in a trance And she said that little boys should always keep it in their pants Then I got a bit older I was about the age of nine The next door neighbors daughter said “hey boy you sure look fine” She said that she would show me hers if I would show her mine Then we went outback the woodshed and we had a real good time But we got caught and now her daddy hates me to this very day Mom said I was naughty and there’d be hell to pay She said that evil girl had surely put me in a trance And she said that little boys should always keep it in their pants Then in junior high school I was tryin’ to make the scene When I got so damn lucky I was sure it was a dream Two cheerleaders they said ”hey boy” while we were eatin’ lunch How should I like to come over and “do” them both at once But then their boyfriends heard about it all in gym class the next day So they merciless beat me and spread rumors I was gay I swore those girls were evil and had put me in a trance I was raised a Christian boy and taught to keep it in my pants Then in my early twenties I had started playin’ bars And all the lovely ladies who like boys who play guitars They’d tell me that my music made their cooters get so wet And if I would take em’ home it’d be a night I’d not forget Some were short and some were skinny some were fat and some were tall I remember all their faces but their names I can’t recall I have heard in Austin Texas that I have a son named Lance Don’t you know that little bastard just can’t keep it in his pants So now I’m getting older and it’s hard to get a date I spend a lotta money and I have to stay out late Forever searching for the kind of lady that I won’t offend When I try to bend her over and stick it into her rearend I’ve had Chlamydia and syphilis and the clap from gettin’ laid So now I regularly get tested To make sure I don’t have AIDS ‘Cause when the girls are drunk and horny no’s a word I just can’t say I know I really should use condoms but I ran out yesterday I can still hear my momma callin’ every time I take that chance Son there will be hell to pay If you don’t keep it in yer pants
5.
6.
Well! listen here my brothers Cuz if you meet a man His name’s “Slackeye Slim” You better run away if you can! They say that he was hanged ‘til dead But crawled out of his grave To feed upon the flesh of those Who get into his way They call him Slackeye Slim! Well, Slackeye Slim got his name and his evil disposition After being shot in the face while still in his mama’s belly She went down with a thud in a pool a blood And Slackeye came slidin’ right out with a bullet in one eye, and complete and utter rage in the other! Folks say Slim was an ill tempered boy With a nasty case of pica And that he eventually acquired a taste for hot dogs and human flesh. Slackeye Slim went on to harvest meat from the general populace And was once heard to of said that the War Between the States was like an all you can eat buffet. One night a whore was givin’ birth in a back alley when old Slackeye happened by. He helped her birth it alright, then he wrapped it up in some newspaper and disappeared into the night. Said it was the best meat he ever had. Well the law finally caught up to Slackeye Slim And he was hanged for his horrific crimes But folks say his zombie came right back, Good as new and hungrier than ever. And that still, to this very day Late in the harvest, Slackeye Slim comes down outta the hills To jerk some longpork and visit the whores So if you ever meet a real clean cut fella with a nasty smell about ‘em Orderin’ a hotdog with ketchup on one side and mustard on the other. You best tip toe right outta there Junior And don’t you catch his eye, or you just might just find yourself sittin’ on a bun. With ketchup on one side, and mustard on the other. (Chorus) He’ll eat ya boy!
7.
It always makes me laugh, when I see people fall down And when they start to cry, I love to hear the sound And I always crack a smile, watching the evening news ‘bout all the murders and rapes and mistrials And when home teams lose ‘cause I’m a misery jackal, and on yer pain I feed Well, I’m a misery jackal Yeah I always have to laugh, when I hear someone’s died And how he couldn’t kick the habit, no matter how he tried And it always makes me smile, seeing other people frown And all the genocide, hunger, and squalor And when children drown CAUSE I’M A MISERY JACKAL, AND ON YER PAIN I FEED CUZ I’M A MISERY JACKAL, I LOVE TO WATCH YOU BLEED I’M A MISERY JACKAL, AND YOU’RE NOT LOOKING WELL I’M A MISERY JACKAL I love it when stars die in wrecks in their cars And their gold digging wives auction off their guitars She once was a dancer, a sweet runway prancer But now they must lance her because she has cancer I’m a misery jackal I love to watch a train wreck, people crash and burn It’s the same old sad story, but people never learn And witnessing domestic violence, makes me feel so good And those gun fightin’ drug dealin’, pimp slappin’ Boys in the hood (CHORUS) We all must take the brimstone with the treacle It tastes just the same to a misery jackal

about

Recorded in our basement, mixed and mastered by our brother Ric Mallardi (The Nimrods; Giggitys) next to the litter box.

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released April 3, 2009

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The Misery Jackals Akron, Ohio

How punk rock sounds after the zombie apocalypse.

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